moving across the pond + across the country (read if in transition)
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“Sounds like you’ve been living out of a suitcase all year!”
The words pierced me, validated me, and grounded me all at once. I felt both fully understood and fully exhausted. “Wow,” I thought to myself. “That’s it.”
”Yes,” I finally replied, realizing I had spaced out a bit and quickly glancing back at the boutique owner. “That’s the perfect way of putting it. You’re exactly right.”
In March, our little family of four packed up three suitcases, two carryons, and a stroller and headed off across the pond to England. We spent four and a half months living abroad and visiting cities around us. Which is not the same as a vacation. We learned to live there, grow there, connect there, and do everyday tasks - schooling, chores, supermarket runs, work, church - there. We made friends, we became regulars at coffee shops, markets, and bookstores, we hosted loved ones, and so on.
One could say it was an extended trip, but to us, it became home.
In August, we returned to the States.
b u t , t h e n . . .
we moved again!
On August 28th, I boarded a one-way flight to Billings, Montana, with our two boys. My husband, on the other hand, ventured out shortly after we did with our dog for the 24-hour drive ahead of the U-Haul packed with all our stuff.
Another move, and this time, across the country.
The time between our return home on August 1st and our departure from Texas for Montana on August 28th was quite short. However, one doesn’t have to be a professional counselor to tell you that a big move like this after returning from an international move is… a lot.
When we returned from England, we reunited with family and friends and shared the news that we had yet another adventure awaiting us. It felt like saying “hello” and “goodbye” in the same breath. The encouragement, love, and support we received were God’s further confirmation for us. This was the next right thing to do.
With summer ending and the new school year quickly approaching, our moving timeline was compressed. Looking back, I’m glad we did it for Josiah’s sake, our 5-year-old, who would be starting kindergarten in September. We didn’t want to disrupt his school year with a semester move. In fact, on August 29th, the next night after landing in Billings, he had his meet-the-teacher night! I could tell him not missing that helped him tremendously on the first day. Because we had Josiah’s school year as our top priority, Calvin and I even planned a quick trip to Billings from August 19 - 22 to finalize a rental home and get Josiah enrolled in school. After that, we flew back to Texas for our last few days in Houston.
My family quickly put together a farewell/birthday party for me/us, as the two weeks prior, we got to say our “hellos” and “goodbyes” to Calvin’s family in East Texas. Hosting everyone in our house was perfect. We gathered, ate, laughed, and chatted the night away one last time in our Texas casita. With the “For Sale” sign on our front yard, I lingered in our driveway with family before they drove away to conclude the night.
Following that, between all the cleaning and packing, our front door became a revolving door. My older brother flew in from Chicago to see us, as did fellow Houston friends and one from Dallas. I recall insisting that one of my girlfriends take a photo of us well past midnight on my closet floor with clothes and suitcases surrounding us to document the moment. She drove 4 hours there and back to sit with me, talk, hug, and help me pack. What a gift — our friends, our family, our people. More popped in to say, “See ya later,” others helped us clean, and some brought us meals!
Alas, the house got emptier and emptier. Quiet and still.
I loved that house, and I knew it would sell in just a month. I also loved that neighborhood, and I looked forward to settling back into it after England, but God had other plans.
Why Montana?
I have been working for a digital marketing company based in Billings, MT for nearly two years. I was hired on as a copywriter for the company, and the job was remote, with quarterly trips to MT to work with the team in the office). This job allowed me to have time at home with the boys still and continue working as we experienced life in England. The owners and company, all believers, have been so generous and caring through all our ups and downs and constants and changes.
The reason we ventured out to England was for my husband’s doctorate work. Calvin completed and submitted the first draft of his dissertation while there. Before returning, Calvin accepted an offer to teach a theology course online for a university. With this transition, he has also continued pursuing other opportunities. One is helping manage a fund for a company and the other, joining the executive team at the company I work for! We both got an offer (I, a raise, and a change of position) and we both accepted! This all led us to move to Montana to be in the office with the team.
Who would have thought 2024 would result in a move across the pond and a move across the country? And God providing - on all fronts - every step of the way.
So, the interaction from above? I was at a local boutique here in downtown Billings, looking for a good pair of trousers - still infatuated with the Brits and their sense of style - when the boutique owner stopped me and began to chat with me.
That’s when I told her a little bit of what I was looking for, complementing her selections and their English, chic flair. We continued to chat and I shared of our recent transitions when she made the “living out of a suitcase all year” observation.
To this day, I’m still processing leaving England. A huge transition, with another one immediately after.
I told my counselor a few weeks ago how I continuously look back on many of our memories with longing, sadness, appreciation, joy, and amazement at the fact we even got to experience it in the first place. Followed by all the emotions of leaving the state I was born and raised in.
I wondered, asking her, “Is this normal?”
Confirming, she replied, “Yes. It is all a part of processing the losses that come with transitions.”
5 Thoughts on Transitions -
If you’re in transition, I get it. Some are exciting, like the one-in-a-lifetime opportunity to live abroad and savor every minute of it. Some may be just difficult, stressful, full of twists or bumps in the road and the unexpected. Others just make sense, though they may catch you by surprise. And yet still, some are an answered prayer of provision, stability, and opportunity. If at all helpful, here is just a bit of what I’m learning along the way:
Community - A good community or support system will be there for you whether you stay or go, whether you are near or far. Lean on that good community for support and a little grounding as you are in that in-between/transitional time. (And accept their help if offered!)
Grace - Understand that a lot of emotions will arise, the unexpected will happen, something may go wrong, or something may let you down. Give you and your family all the grace during this period, and those you love who are processing the news of the transition. Especially if you have littles. Be patient with them. Be patient with your spouse, and yourself.
Document - I know picture taking may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but savor the transitional moments by journaling, snapping a photo, or finding little tokens as treasured mementoes of the time spent in one place before heading to the next. It also helps to look back and remember. Remember the goodness and faithfulness of God through the journey of transitioning.
Trust - Transitions require trust. Trust in yourself, trust in your partner, and trust in God. It’s not always easy to say “yes” to tread into unknown territory. That’s where faith in God and trust must step in. Daily. “Stay close”, Calvin and I would often tell each other as a reminder to stay close to God and stay close to one another and as a family.
Vocalize - Talk about it. As much as you need to. Consider getting a counselor if you struggle to find someone that will really listen. Getting your thoughts and feelings out is important, helpful even! Prayer is also a wise way to vocalize it. God is always listening. I found that through prayer, confiding in my inner circle, and now working with a counselor I enjoy has helped me untangle a lot of from this year. I hope the same for you, friend.
