The Baby News I Wasn't Expecting While Expecting

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At 19 weeks pregnant, Calvin and I headed to my doctor’s office for the anatomy scan that typically happens at around this stage of pregnancy. This is where we are able to see the baby through an ultrasound and where we’d normally find out the gender of our baby. Of course, as I mentioned in previous posts, Calvin and I decided not to find out the gender of the baby until the baby is born so we didn’t expect big news from our tech or doctor that day. We simply were excited to see our baby and hear the heartbeat. However, just minutes after our ultrasound, our doctor had other news for us… she told us the ultrasound tech suspected a cleft lip on the right side of baby’s face.

Our doctor ordered an in-depth ultrasound at Texas Children's Maternal Fetal Medicine to confirm.

The Ultrasound

On April 15th we headed to Texas Children’s West Campus for the ultrasound and were also scheduled to meet with a Genetic Counselor following our ultrasound.

At first, the customary grey and white ultrasound images made it difficult for us to see the cleft lip they saw. Until they turned the images to the 3D setting. Then Calvin and I were able to see baby’s (cute - if I may add) little face. It was so sweet. When the baby turned and the right side of baby’s face became more visible, we instantly noticed the cleft lip. Tears filled my eyes as I reached for Calvin’s hand. I saw it. An upper lip not fully formed.

Due to the gap or cleft extending from the upper lip to the right nostril, the Maternal-Fetal Medicine OB, Dr. Mildred Ramirez, and her ultrasound tech concluded that baby Williams shows a unilateral isolated cleft lip and cleft palate. And that’s the diagnosis we walked out with.


Next we were to see a Genetic Counselor. She asked us various questions pertaining to medical history and how we were taking in all the information. She also made it a point to ask us if we had a strong support system, to which we both quickly said, yes. She continued in saying that to families new to this, baby’s arrival can be shocking due to their face looking a bit different from the lip not being one continuous structure until repaired. (First surgery being at 3 months.)

She then gave us additional information on cleft lip and cleft palate and assured us that proper care and treatment is available to repair both a cleft lip and palate. We were then told we’d have a consultation with the Texas Children’s Cleft Lip and Palate Clinic at the medical center downtown. The next day, we scheduled an appointment for April 29th.

What is Cleft Lip and Cleft Palate?

Cleft lip and palate is a congenital anomaly that occurs when a baby’s upper lip and/or palate do not fuse during pregnancy. A baby can have an isolated cleft lip, an isolated cleft palate, or a combination of the 2. The main issues developed by children with cleft lip and palate involve feeding difficulties, speech development, oral hygiene, dental problems and social interaction. {sited from Texas Children’s Hospital website]

There are surgeries available to repair a cleft lip and palate. We are so blessed to have access to the medical attention our baby will need. God knew what He was doing when He brought us to Katy/Houston, TX. Texas Children’s Hospital in the Houston Medical Center has a great team of doctors and treatment plan for kids with cleft lip/cleft palate that we were able to meet this week at our initial consultation. Calvin and I were both very impressed and left feeling more informed and prepared for due date as they walked us through baby’s future treatment plan. Below I’ve included a video explaining all of that.

BLOG POST EDIT (5/2021):

While we were first directed to Texas Children’s in the Medical Center, after a month there we made the switch to Shriners Hospitals for Children. There we met Dr. Eric Payne who then became Josiah’s new surgeon. We personally felt led to make the switch after an incredible consultation with him at Shriners. Dr. Eric Payne has since completed Josiah’s lip repair and palate repair. I have linked more about his cleft lip and cleft palate work below along with Shriners website.

https://www.houstoncraniofacial.com/cleft-lip-palate/spontaneous/
https://www.shrinershospitalsforchildren.org/shc

Additional sites that have helped provide us with credible information on cleft lip and palate are:

https://cleftline.org
https://www.cleftproud.com

The Processing

We have had the past few weeks to process and discuss what life will look like once baby arrives. The many doctor visits, the surgeries, the social interactions, etc. We have also been able to speak to our families, close friends, and church family. Everyone has been incredibly supportive and encouraging. As we told the genetic counselor, we indeed are blessed to say we have a strong support system. We know we are not alone.

We have felt God’s peace and love carrying us through. However, before you think us some spiritual gurus, ever unwavering, and always optimistic and full of faith…

can I just be real with y’all?

In the past 3 weeks I have had restless nights accompanied by tears of sadness. I’ve let shame and fear in, questioning if it’s okay to feel sad, to feel afraid, to cry.

And the answer is yes.

Just days ago I felt a volcano of emotions erupt yet again. An explosion of emotions released. The floodgate opened and I could suppress the emotions and tears no longer. I sobbed and sobbed. Honestly, not even knowing exactly what I was feeling but just knowing that this was the proper release of it all.

And I cried out to God.

Who else could I run to? Who else could know me and see me like He does? Who else but my Creator and my baby’s Creator?

I’ll be honest that I have felt a war inside of me, a resistance to crown emotions as king yet a desire to just keep feeling the very real emotions I had been tucking away in order to be “strong”, to be “okay”, to have “faith”. Or perhaps to appear as though I do.

This war welcomed other enemies - depression and isolation.

I have felt them stand over me like giants, I have heard them whisper my name, asking me to join them, to draw in, to surrender, and just get lost with them.


But thanks be to God, I have resisted. And I’ll do my best to resist every single day for the rest of this journey if I have to.


Because regardless of what I may feel, my emotions aren’t king, Jesus is. And through His victory, we too - baby Williams included - are victorious! God’s perfect love casts out all fear. He reminds me to be anxious about nothing and instead to pray, then His peace which surpasses all understanding will guard my heart and my mind in Christ Jesus. Hallelujah!


Better we stand on the promises of God than hide away in isolation, fear, and guilt.

“Rest in God alone, my soul,
for my hope comes from him.
He alone is my rock and my salvation,
my stronghold; I will not be shaken.
My salvation and glory depend on God, my strong rock.
My refuge is in God.
Trust in him at all times, you people;
pour out your hearts before him.
God is our refuge.”
— Psalm 62:5-8

Calvin is so excited to have baby here already. And I am too! As I have shared with him about what I’m feeling and what God is showing me or telling me through this, Calvin has encouraged me greatly.

Matter of fact, the other day he reminded me that when we are weak and run to God and surrender it all to Him, that is in fact when we draw TRUE strength from Him to press on. That is when we can stand and say, “no matter what, God I’m here and I will trust you and I will praise you.”



Baby Williams, your dad and mom are ready to hold you and love you and teach you about your Creator.


We’re here for it, come what may!

Now What?

We believe He is a God of miracles whether those be performed in my womb or outside of it. So would you join us in praying? Pray for baby Williams, our labor and delivery team at Houston Methodist West and my OB - Dr. Kristin Schmidt, pray for the Texas Shriners Cleft Lip and Palate Clinic team, pray for our baby’s cleft doctor and surgeon, Dr. Eric Payne. Pray also for Calvin and I and our families as this is new to both sides of our families. Thank you!

We will continue to praise God for this sweet life growing inside of me! What a gift this child is. And we will continue to prepare for baby’s arrival as best we can in our last two months of this pregnancy.


Thank you in advance for your support, encouragement and your prayers. We believe in God and in the power of prayer! But we also know that regardless of how God answers our prayers, HE IS GOOD. HE IS FAITHFUL AND HE HAS A PLAN!



Please know that if you have any questions, we are happy to do our best to answer them in the next blog.


EDIT TO ADD: Further cleft-related posts are listed below! Don’t miss reading up on updates on Josiah’s journey.

Thanks for reading, friend!



- Crystal