16 Years Later

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16 years later since I first became a Christian…

and I still want more.



I’ve decided to share a very real and raw conversation I had with the Lord recently. But first, let me give you some context:

I was sitting on my bed on a day off, listening to worship music and writing on my lap top. I think I was suppose to be working on a blog post or something.

All of the sudden as I started singing along to songs that came on my YouTube playlist, the presence of God filled the room. I don’t know if that sounds crazy to some, but if you’ve experienced it before, then you know what I mean. You know when the Spirit of God is there. You just do.

So I began pulling away from the other distractions and just focused on worshipping. I sang along a bit louder and more intentionally, carefully thinking of each word that left my lips.


Then, captivated by His presence and in deep thirst for more, I cried out to God:


There's gotta be more.

I just know it.

There's more.

I can feel it. My soul longs for it. I'm craving something great. Divine and matchless in every way.

I've tasted and seen that the Lord is GOOD as the psalmist writes, but I can't help but wonder can I have more? More of this? More of this GOOD? More? Is there more?

I think there's more. 

I can feel you drawing me in, welcoming me, telling me there’s more. I think there’s more!”


I then began to hear God respond. Not in an audible voice like in Bruce Almighty, of course, but in my Spirit I just heard Him speak. Simultaneously I felt the need to type it all out. Here is what He said:


”Yes, there's more. You can walk closer, you can get deeper, you can have more. There's more.” 

My child, I have more.

I never run dry. I can give you more, show you more, teach you more, fill you more, I can. I don't have a limit. The limit does not exist.

I am forever. I am living water. It never runs out. It's always flowing, always moving. And there's more than enough. 

I will never have a shortage. You will never come to me and find me with empty hands and nothing to offer. You will never be disapoointed when you come. You will never leave empty. You will always be fulfilled. You will always be entrawled. You will always be left in wonder. You will always leave amazed. You will always be welcomed. Time and time again.

I AM all you need. I AM everything. I AM all things for you.

I AM.

I AM.

I AM.

I AM.


As tears flowed down my face and conviction struck my heart, He gently continued:


Why do you forget? Why do you run? Why do you doubt? Why don't you come? 

If nothing else can do this for you... why do you search everyhwere but here. If no one else can do this for you? Why do you look to another? Why do you fill your days encountering others and not me? Why are meetings with other humans more important than meeting with me? Why? 

I've never left. I've never shunned you.  I've never shamed you. I've never stopped loving you.
I've never left.

I've given you everything. Entire access. There are no closed doors to me. Jesus swung the door wide open. I gave you my everything to have you.

Give me you. All of you.

I'm right here. I've come after you. And I continue to.

Nothing can tear you apart from my love. Nothing can take you from the palm of my hand.

I see you. All of you. I hear you. I know your every thought. I love you.

 

The tears stopped and a peace rested on me, lastly I heard my Father say:


So come. I'm here. And yes, I can show you more. More than you could ever imagine. I'm not done. I'm always ready for you to come and for us to grow closer. I’m here. So come."

 
I stopped typing and I exhaled and I thanked Him.

I first came to know about God when I was 12 years old. The exact date, October 30, 2002. Someone took the time to explain the Gospel to me and why Jesus hung on the cross for the first time. I prayed my first prayer to Him then and knew He heard me. I felt a peace come over me and a weight lifted off my shoulders. To this day, I know that’s when I first encountered God.

Now, 16 years later, I’m not over it. It doesn’t get old. And I know there’s still more. He’s not done with me and I’m not done with Him. It’s been a beautiful journey and MAN, do I look forward to the 16 years to come.

Because it’s been 16 years, and I still want more.